are you still at the devil's house?
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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