Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize