you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
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