Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
