her facebook's as public as her vagina
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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