Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
being pregnant is like rehab
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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