I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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