hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
