I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
