he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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