Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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