is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize