Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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