Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
