so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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