the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Randomize
