i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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