Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
