Is it normal to miss your booty call?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize