I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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