I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
my liver is dry heaving
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