I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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