I didn't shave. On purpose
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
