hotel room ftw
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
