I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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