"it" just moved
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
