Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
