when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
