The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
