I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
