i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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