just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
