and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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