I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
