Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
