when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
