Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize