I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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