i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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