Soap is not a condiment
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
