I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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