I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
