shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Just invented taco cereal.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Randomize
