I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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