Got a toothbrush?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
