I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize