Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
