careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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