remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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