Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Randomize
