So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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