HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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