So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
