I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
