you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
