Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
