I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize