Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
She's like a pop up book from hell.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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