Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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