new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
