I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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